Is Your Give a Damn Button Broke?

 Do you let internal small childish fears about rejection direct your life or you listen to the voice inside of you that tells you to try. 

 To give. 

 To keep building and making something new.

 Most people will cheer you on. 

 Most people will want you to succeed. 

 Anyone who does not want you to succeed does not belong in your life.

 Everyone is an expert at failure. 

 Everyone can point out how "this won't work," or "that won't work" or my personal favorite, "you suck."

 And they are right. 

 For them, these haters, these non-friends, these ID 10 T's are absolutely correct.

 To them you do suck.

 And why would you want to have that in your life?

 Cut them out.

 Find the people who will support you.

 I found it in running.

 I tried 4 100 mile races in12 months and my running friends didn't care that I was only able to finish 2.

 They said things like, "You still ran 50 (or 60 Miles)." “Good job.” “Great effort.”

 Sometimes success is in the trying.

 I've been working/trying to start a new business.

 I've had a couple of good months, and I'm still learning and trying.

 But I'm scared.  I have been scared.

 And I realized that the fear comes from a place of being rejected.

 Feeling rejected.

 It's a childish feeling about writing that I've carried since college, when a Professor told me I sucked. 

 See, I wrote the story about some guys fighting over coffee. 

 His response was "I drink coffee and I can't ever see it being that important." 

 This was pre-Friends, pre-Starbucks, pre-coffee becoming a national phenomenon.

 So I listened to him, and not to the voice inside of me.

 When I moved to LA to pitch scripts to Hollywood, I was told NO more times than I was rejected for dates in high school.

 It just became another word.

 The approach was "if this producer doesn't like it, then the next one will."

 And I wrote my ass off.

 I just opened up a box and found seventeen completed scripts I forgot about.

 Can you imagine that, writing so much that you forgot what you wrote?  I found a half finished novel and almost a dozen outlines.

 I found that short story, the one that made me afraid to try to become a literary figure.

 I stacked those piles of paper up and figured something out.

 I'm probably not going to be a major literary figure in my lifetime.

 But I'm a pretty good hack.

 I mean that in the best way.

 I write fun, interesting stories that are like beach reads, or candy for the eyes.

 I'm going to be okay with that.

 I'll sing the Beatles song, paperback writer, and crank out dime novels based on the scripts I wrote, and the outlines I have.

 Since September, I've published 30 projects on Amazon. 

 4 novels in the Sci Fi genre, 2 of 13 in my Shadowboxer series and some of the scripts I've written.

 That's an average of one book per week, which is an ACTION ITEM on the PLAN for my publishing company.

 I'm staring an author's page, and if you are a reader, I'd like your support.

 Watch for it here, and then like it to get updates.

 I'll do a free promo for each book as it comes out, so download it and leave a review.

 If you like one, you might want to buy another.

 Am I still afraid of being rejected?

 Yep. 

 But I'm also afraid of trying to run some major distances this year after a couple of disappointing races and injuries last year.

 I'm afraid of failing at this new career.

I've been working on turning off my "give a damn" button. 

But I do give a damn.

A damn about trying something new, about pushing my preconceived limits, about believing in a dream. 

I give a damn about the freedom to travel, and build a brand, and stand for something that is important to me.

I give a damn about writing fun fiction about spies, and zombies, and a couple about magic (not all in the same book though!) and even a few non-fiction books that talk about what I've learned along the way.

 

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