Planet 10 - The Dipole Series book 8 excerpt

PLANET 10 - The Dipole Series

“So,” Tinker purred in a low smooth voice. “I’m gonna have to visit Uranus.”

“Try saying it without wiggling your eyebrows,” said Mona Lisa.

“Don’t think I can,” he raised his mason jar in a mock toast. “No love, just the thought of Uranus makes every part of me quiver.”

“You’re not going to stop this, are you?”

“Probably not,” he shrugged.

“You could go with the smells-,”

“The smell never bothered me.”

“Or,” she ignored him. “You could have gone with so much more than juvenile jokes about my ass.”

“What ass?” June Bug stuck her head through the cockpit door.

“We’re going to visit Uranus,” Tinker said over his shoulder.

“That is our mission.”

“He’s making a play on words, the planet Uranus for your anus.”

June Bug quirked up on eyebrow.

“I see the confusion,” she corrected. “You are incorrect in your pronunciation.”

“Your anus?”

“It is Ur-a-nus.”

“Yeah it is,” Tinker grinned.

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Look, you can dress up a pig, but that doesn’t stop it from being bacon.”

“Are you drunk?” Mona Lisa smirked.

“Probably.”

“His blood alcohol content is less than one tenth of a percent,” June Bug answered. “Well within the parameters of flying safety parameters.”

“Narc,” Tinker scoffed and pulled up a full jar of star shine. “Looks like it’s time to pour me a double.”

He drizzled the clear liquid from the full jar to the empty one, eyeballing until they were almost even.

“So we can’t blame the hooch for your jokes?” Mona Lisa asked.

Tinker tapped the side of his head.

“It’s all up here,” he said and pointed to his crotch.

“And right there too.”

“Your gesture indicates that your penis is a joke as well,” June Bug said.

“What? No, I meant-,”

“No, no,” Mona Lisa stopped him. “We know what you meant. And we know it’s not a joke.”

She exaggerated a wink at Junebug.

“Stop that,” he said.

“Stop what?”

“I saw what you did. Don’t wink at her when you say that.”

“That your junk isn’t a joke?” Mona Lisa smiled. “We know.”

She winked again, larger this time.

“If I wasn’t drinking, my feelings would get hurt.”

“I see what you are doing,” Junebug said. “You are exaggerating the effect of your motion to indicate that his penis is a joke, despite the words you are saying to the contrary.”

Mona Lisa giggled.

“And that is funny.”

“So is Uranus,” Tinker sulked.

“Trouble,” Bat called from the cargo area.

“And so is Uranus,” Tinker muttered again as they extracted themselves from the shallow cockpit to go see what Bat was talking about.